Log in

No account? Create an account

Live Fast, Have Fun

be a bit mischievous

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Title: believe
Author: alifeofourown
Pairing: Justin Bieber/Niall Horan
Rating: General
Word Count: 3,592

Summary: The first time they meet Justin Bieber, Niall almost faints.
Warnings: Niall stanning, Skype and overall fluff
Dedication: This is all for Keni because what isn't but also she's been craving niallstin. This is also to Mel who is terrible and bribed me into posting so I EXPECT A COMMENT FROM YOU
Disclaimer: I assure you if One Direction belonged to me I'd be far too busy hanging with them to write fic.
Author Notes: There might be abnormalities with the writing and that's because the two chunks of writing were written a little over a month apart. I would say that I regret it and that I'd fix it but I'm lazy and if you don't know that about me by now then we need to have a chat. Enjoy and if I see Bieber hate I swear I will punch you where it hurts. (:

                Niall’s known for a while that he’s liked boys. In fact, he even knew this before Harry attacked them all with kisses the day they were put together as a group, but Harry was never the one that he was attracted to. No offense to him, but Niall’s been a little bit…well, a lot in love with a certain someone and he can’t help the fact that he’s completely screwed because there’s no way in the world that he’s ever going to end up with Justin Bieber. No way whatsoever.

                Interviewers ask him all the time who his celebrity crush is and it’s so annoying to Niall because they have an image to protect and portray so it’s not like he can blurt out just how much he loves the Biebz and how he wants to make out with him until his lips are actually hurting from all that kissing. Sure they blurt out the typical answers. Megan Fox comes up a lot, as do most of the girls that were in the X Factor house, but not once is a boy mentioned and Niall’s kind of upset about that. He doesn’t want to hide himself behind this stupid persona that he’s been handed by management. He wants to be able to say who he really likes and if and when he has a boyfriend he wants to be able to walk around with them in public, holding his hand and maybe even stealing a kiss from him as they do whatever it is they’re doing that day.

                When he grumbles about this to the boys, because he’s always grumbling about having to hide, they just ruffle his hair and offer to order takeaway and curl up with a good movie. It kind of surprises Niall in the end that Louis’s the one who he can relate to the most when it comes to talking about having to hide yourself. Louis and Harry are stuck in the same situation that he is but they have each other and in some ways that’s even harder than not having anyone to be with.

                Then again, Louis’s still coming to terms with his sexuality while Harry’s been more than confident with his since he became a teenager. So sometimes Louis and Niall curl up together in Niall’s bed or bunk and they just talk about everything. Louis mentions how he’s getting a little bit more comfortable with saying that he’s in love with Harry, that he loves boys and that doesn’t make him wrong and Niall smiles for him and talks about how he wishes he could just go to a gay club and get away with it like Harry did when he went out when they were in New York.

                Harry’s good to talk with too, but not as good as Louis. He’s comfortable with his sexuality, like Niall, but unlike Niall he’s not willing to let management control him. He keeps his answers gender neutral because gender isn’t something he looks for in a person and he does these bold things like going to gay clubs and wearing his ‘Love is Equal’ shirt everywhere because that’s what he believes in and his beliefs are more important than management’s demands. Niall wishes that he were as confident as Harry when it came to things like that.

                Niall just wishes that everything were easier for him, for all of them, so that maybe they could all be happy rather than feeling like they’re going to crack under the pressure of trying to be perfect (even though they can’t even come close to perfect on a good day).

                The first time they meet Justin Bieber, Niall almost faints (he actually does afterwards but Louis’s feeling generous that day and keeps it a secret from everyone, including Bieber). They barely manage to shake hands before Niall lets out a very suppressed squeak of excitement and Justin kind of grins. “Hey, man. It’s awesome to meet you.”

                And Niall completely and utterly takes that to heart and he almost faints again. Louis grabs him securely around the waist and pulls him close, tickling to keep him from doing exactly what his body insists he does. “He’s charmed. Star-struck, actually.” Louis beams at Justin as Niall barely manages to bob his head in response because he’s just so in awe.

                “Cool, bro,” Justin says before he grins at Niall with that smile that really makes him want to die. He’s definitely not internally freaking out so badly that he’s almost starting to physically shake. Of course not. But when Justin actually reaches out and shakes Niall’s hand, Niall’s pretty sure his heart stops.

                And that’s when he knows that his obsession with Justin Bieber is about a million times worse than he thought it was.

                They text and tweet and Skype whenever they’re not busy. It amazes Niall just how close they’ve managed to becomeeeven when they’re thousands of miles away from each other. But there’s just something about Justin that makes Niall want to talk about everything to him, and for some strange reason Justin feels the same way about Niall. Sometimes they’ll stay up until the sun’s rising for one of them, just talking about whatever come to mind.

                Niall plays bits of song ideas for Justin sometimes (whenever he’s not trying to cover Justin’s songs just so that he can hear that ‘dude you play my stuff better than I do,’ that makes him turn varying shades of red). They’re never things that actually end up going towards the album since they’re pieces that are either foolish or half-thought out or, in rare occasions, too personal to share with anyone other than Justin, but Justin helps him out with them anyway.

                By the end of their first month of consistent talking, Niall’s got an entire album written on his own, filled to the brim of love songs and break-up songs and just general songs about having fun and living life. And they’re his, yeah, but they’re the most important things that he’s written because Justin helped him write them.

                Justin heads into the studio just when One Direction heads out on tour again, so there’s really little to no time to talk these days. Sometimes Justin doesn’t end up texting him until midnight in California and Niall just instantly ushers him off to sleep. And then sometimes he’ll text him at a bizarre time like four in the morning, telling Niall that he can’t sleep. That he’s been thinking about that one song that he’s stuck on; the one song that he won’t tell Niall a thing about because it’s a surprise.

                Niall should know by now that it’s weird that Justin has a surprise song, but he just finds the fact endearing. It’s probably something that Justin’s not comfortable talking about because he wants it to have some big, dramatic reveal, but Niall’s alright with that all the same. He just responds with kind words about how the song will work itself out and that Justin will end up getting it together in the end. That’s how it always works, and it seems to comfort them both so that’s always a plus.

                And then sometimes Justin texts him and he wakes Niall up, asking somewhat desperately for emergency Skype sessions where he explains that he’s not feeling the music industry anymore. He tells Niall that it all feels too fake for him, that he can’t pull through this despite all of the hard work that he’s put into getting to the point that he’s at and that he wants to quit. Niall listens and he even agrees with a lot of the things that Justin says, because he never expected to be where he is right now and while he loves it and wouldn’t give it up for anything, it feels fake as all hell sometimes.

                They talk the feelings through until they’re both reminded about why they’re here, why they’ve started this in the first place. They wanted to share their gifts with the world; to let everyone feel how they do sometimes, which is what everyone wants at least a few dozen times in their lives.

                It’s those days that are the most special because Niall feels like Justin’s completely opening up to him and that he’s actually important. Justin Bieber cares about him, and that’s really all that Niall could ever ask for.

                The first time that Niall sees Justin tweeting about his new album, his finished album, there’s this overwhelming sense of pride and joy because he’s done it. He’s successfully completed the album that’s given him so many joys and headaches; the one that Niall’s heard more about than their own album, which they’re almost ready to finally start getting together. The lyrics are written and the melodies are being put together now. They’re almost about to go into the studio, but Niall really doesn’t care.

                He’s more excited about Believe.

                He sees the track listing, courtesy of Justin, and listens to the singles that he sends him ahead of time, grinning wider with each one. “They’re amazing. Brilliant,” he tells him one day over a Skype session and Justin’s beaming like no else.

                It makes that spot in Niall’s chest feel like it’s going to explode from happiness and he just wishes that he could be there to hug Justin and congratulate him on what sounds like the start of an amazing album. “When will I hear the rest?”

                “When it comes out,” Justin replies, and it’s cheeky, yeah, but Niall can’t help but laugh at his response. He won’t lie; he’s a little hurt that he’s not getting the album early, but at the same time he knows that there’s a reason behind it. He just doesn’t know what it is.

                “I’m eagerly waiting.”

                Somewhere along the line Justin tells Niall about Selena. He explains that they’re not together and yet they are, and that confuses Niall so much that Justin has to stop mid-story and explain it all over again. When he finally finishes, Niall deduces that it’s kind like the Louis and Eleanor situation except that it started because of a crush instead of a suggest from management.

                “I really loved her,” Justin muses one day as they sit there, Niall strumming his fingers over the guitar strings as he listens to Justin and works out a chord change. “I still do, but not like that. We’re each other’s best friends and that’s okay.”

                “So why are you still saying that you’re dating, then?” Niall asks and he looks up just in time to catch Justin’s pained expression; the smile on his face turning sad.

                “Why would anyone tell such a lie?” Justin asks in response and Niall bites down on his lip as he watches the conversation turn from light to anything but in a matter of seconds. “To cover up an even bigger truth.”

                Justin doesn’t tell Niall what he needs to know but Niall figures it out anyway and when they move the conversation back to Niall’s damn chords, he’s smiling for a whole different reason because now he knows and now that he knows everything’s going to change. He’s sure of it.

                The second Believe comes out, Niall downloads it on iTunes, but it’s not enough. He hasn’t even given himself a chance to listen to it before he’s begging Paul for them to stop somewhere, anywhere, so that he can pick up a copy of the deluxe edition of the album. Justin specifically mentioned that that’s the one he should get, although when Niall finally slips into a 24-hour Target and bribes a salesperson to go and grab one of the CDs from the back (they still haven’t put them on the shelves), he doesn’t find anything special about it.

                He puts the album on repeat and listens to it, discerning the songs that he likes from the songs that he loves until Zayn throws a pair of headphones at him and tells him that it’s ‘four in the bloody morning and I’m trying to sleep!’

                Only then does Niall retreat to his bunk and actually curls up for a good listen.

                He’s flipping through the booklet admiring the pictures of Justin that are in there before he gets to the general thanks. Usually he skips over those, knowing that there’s really nothing about them that compels him to read them. But maybe it’s because it’s Justin, or maybe it’s because he’s actually curious. Either way, Niall decides to sit down and actually read every bit of the miniscule-sized print.

                It’s the typical thank you’s as far as Niall can see. A thanks to the record label, a thanks to the management company, a few billion thanks to the touring crew and friends and family. And then there’s one that sticks out, one that Niall can definitely tell is not one of those typical thank you’s.

                And thank you to my best friend. We’ve talked a lot and you helped me through so much, so track 13 is just as much for you as it is for the fans. Told you it’d be a good surprise.

                Niall doesn’t hesitate to skip straight to Believe, listening to the song on repeat over and over until his head is spinning from the lyrics because he doesn’t know what this means. Does it mean that Justin sees him as one of his fans; as one of those amazing people who’ve helped to shape his life? Or does it mean more than that? Niall can’t even comprehend what this is supposed to mean, so he goes back to the booklet and actually finishes reading it now that he’s done overanalyzing the lyrics.

                It’s there, in the bottom of the thank you’s, almost cut off where the page ends, but it’s there. Niall doesn’t know what to say as he reads the words that Justin’s written for him; the ones that clearly are only going out with this first pressing because there’s no way that he’d actually…

                Actually, no. Niall’s not sure what Justin Bieber would do anymore because he just managed to do the impossible and Niall still has no words.

                Niall waits until they park the bus for the night and the sun’s starting to rise on the east coast but it’s still probably three or four in the morning where Justin’s at. He doesn’t care, really, so Niall steps off the bus and he dials Justin’s number, listening to the phone ring as he clings to the booklet.

                “Hello?” Justin’s voice comes through just as groggy as Niall expected it to. He imagines that Justin had just managed to fall asleep when he called and now he’s thrown off by being woken up, but Niall really doesn’t care. There’s too much else to care about right now.

                “Hello?” Justin says again and Niall finally snaps back into focus. “Who-“

                “You know who it is,” Niall replies quietly and he can hear the way that Justin’s breath catches and that almost sort of sends Niall into a whirlwind of emotion. “I saw your message.”

                “Yeah?” Justin responds and it’s hesitant, not at all like the boy that Niall’s spent months upon months getting to know through all these various forms of communication. “What’d you think?”

                Niall barely even gives him a chance to finish that question before he responds. “I think you’re an asshole,” he tells him and he hears Justin swallow hard, as if the world has just delivered the worst news it could’ve possibly given him. “I don’t-“

                “I’m sorry,” Justin cuts in and Niall stops, giving him a chance to speak. “It was a last-minute decision, putting that in there, and I wasn’t going to do it but I just thought…I just thought that if I did…”

                “You idiot,” Niall replies and if Justin can’t hear the grin in his voice by now then there’s something seriously wrong going on. “I love you too.”

                And in those four words everything changes. Niall listens to Justin’s silence that’s followed by the quick inhale of breath. He almost drops the phone when Justin lets out a kind of shriek that he hasn’t heard since he watched the Never Say Never documentary and was entertained by the way he acted with his friends. It’s overwhelming, listening to Justin’s reactions, but it’s wonderful all the same and if anything, Niall pulls the phone closer to his ear.

                “Say it again?” Justin finally says and he can hear rustling in the background but Niall doesn’t pay much attention to it anymore because Justin’s asking him for something and they both know that Niall could never, ever turn Justin down.

                “I love you,” Niall repeats and he smiles as Justin responds with a brief but powerful, “I love you too.”

                “Where’s your show tonight?” Justin asks him somewhere amidst the conversation about this and that, meaningless topics intertwined with their inability to stop saying, ‘I love you’ to each other every other minute. And Niall once thought that he’d be so, so cool if Justin ever returned his feelings. He now knows that he’s not even remotely close to that.

                “I’m not sure,” Niall responds. “I haven’t checked the schedule in so long and Liam’s the only one who actually knows anymore.”

                “That’s fine. I’ll check your site,” Justin replies and Niall can’t help but laugh because the fact that there’s a website that tells everyone where they’ll be each night is still too surreal for him that he completely misses the fact that Justin’s curious too.

                “Wait, why?” Niall finally manages to ask and Justin just laughs before he tells Niall to make sure he’s on the guest list. “Wait, you’re…really?” Niall asks in disbelief and Justin laughs again, causing Niall to blush at his stupidity. “I’ll tell Paul and we’ll get you at the airport.”

                “Yeah, okay,” Justin replies and Niall’s grinning now as Justin tells him that he should hang up if he has any plans on getting out of the house soon. “I’ll text you my arrival time,” he tells Niall before hangs up and Niall practically bounces back into the tour bus, all but screaming that he has a celebrity boyfriend that is coming to see him in just a few hours.

                And it doesn’t even bother him when Zayn chucks a pillow at his head.

                “Stop pacing,” Louis says as he grabs Niall, holding him tightly in place so that all Niall can do is check the time again and forget how to breathe until Louis’s slapping him across the face. “Breathe, Ni.”

                “I’m nervous,” Niall weakly replies and Louis chuckles before ruffling his hair, digging his fingers lightly against Niall’s scalp to calm him down. “What if he comes here and changes his mind once he sees me or he changed his mind on the flight and is just going to turn right around again or-“

                “Niall.” Louis cuts him off and he stares at Niall until he’s completely silent. Once he’s managed that, he grins at Niall. “Stop worrying. You showed us what he wrote in his booklet. There’s no way that he’s not going to stop loving you now. You woke him up at three in the morning and he got on a plane for you, Nialler. Relax.”

                Niall swallows thickly before he nods. “Yeah. You’re probably right,” he mutters in response before shaking his head, obviously not even close to calm like Louis wants him. He’s actually on the verge of pacing again when Louis turns him around and points. “There.”

                He sees Justin and all of the thoughts that are running through his mind stop simultaneously. It’s like nothing matters now that he sees him and Niall doesn’t even realise that he starts walking towards him until he actually picks up the pace and starts running towards Justin just like every person does in one of those romance movies that Niall actually laughs at.

                When he reaches him he doesn’t even hesitate, practically throwing himself into Justin’s arms and holding onto him so tightly that he’s possibly digging his fingernails in his back as he clings to his shirt. “Hi,” Justin chuckles as he wraps his arms around Niall’s waist, holding tightly in response. “Have I told you yet that I love you?”

                “It’s always nice to hear,” Niall barely manages to reply before he presses his face into Justin’s neck, breathing him in because this is real and Justin is his forever. Justin loves him too. “Have I told you it back?”

                “Maybe once or twice,” Justin replies with a soft laugh and Niall starts laughing too, the laughter coming out breathless, almost disbelieving because if someone had told Niall a few hours ago that Justin Bieber was going to tell him that he loved him he would’ve never, ever believed it.

                And yet here they are.

                Louis eventually starts throwing the wrappers to breakfast sandwiches at the back of Niall’s head and that’s what causes them to actually move. Niall clings to Justin’s hand the entire way back to the venue, something that clearly doesn’t seem to bother the other boy because he’s nothing but grins as they talk about the amazingness of all of this (and when Louis grimaces at them and calls them disgustingly cute Niall can’t help but let out the loudest laugh he’s ever managed).

                (You should see you and Harry sometimes, he thinks as he curls up into Justin’s side, happier than he’s ever been in his entire life.)

  • 1
naww it is cute rhee (and I remember you sending me one or two excerpts from this when you first started it I think...)

yeah i remember sending you bits but idr what they were



♥ you

  • 1